is angry and sad now.
you've crossed the line.
again and again history repeats, when will you ever learned your listen.
i dontwant to talk to you.
why do you have to make it so hard to love you?
finally understood why we're/ i'm in such a situation.
maybe its us, maybe its you? who?
can this ever be solved or am i slowly losing hope?
one moment i was told to be mature and the next minute, you crossed the line and i broke down immediately.
i cried like a baby. one can be mature in one aspect and immature at the other aspect.
remember, there's always a flip side to anything.
call me childish, call me a boy, and i say i dont care, when im told when people say they dont care actually they care the most,when let me tell you, sometimes its true, but now i really dont.

i guess im really very weird, i dont even understand myself very well.
suddenly i feel like moving out renting a room outside and leaving on my own.
put aside studies, where's as i have to say studies do used up a lot of my time,theres so manythings things i need/wants/settle to do.
simply just putting them all on hold. P-A-U-S-E. i hope i will be able to press the pause button long enough till the exam ends.


daddy's and brother going to be oversea tommorrrow, not another time daddy leaves oversea without me. i just HOPE i can survive and not miss him too much. i dont want to cry, be in my room alone missing daddy. there are things i may not say,cause i dont have the courage, but at times i pull out my courage and says stuff like" i miss you, i love you" i really meant it.this words has made me tongue tight too many times. there's so many things i have yet to tell him when he left jus now. chaos happen just now. and i didnt even get to say goodbye to you ):

oh no. i better stop this entry now. this entry is getting alittle too emotional. i shall end it happy, daddy going to spurge on me when he's back. he's wants to get me another dslr camera,i think i will get that, or is there something else i can get?

bit by bit, starting to close myself up.
computer can be my best friend.
im sorry people if recently i have been a little cold towards you, i just dont feel like talking. i will be back to myself sooon.
if you read all this above, wow, im sorry to have made you bored.

Time until Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 11:59:59 PM (Singapore time)

19		days
458		hours
27534		minutes
1652099		seconds

1st paper dec 7 2009. and im greeted with 2 papers in a day. really madness!
having killer economics paper and banking and finance. KILLER PAPERS TOGETHER! oh great, economics is a paper alone that itself can kill everyone and now its going to be mixed with banking. its going to be a crazy day that day. well this is only half mock. and when march comes, where the full mock comes. GOOD LUCK MAN. 6 hours of exams in a day. i can really pulled all my hair out then. stressful and crazy. 2.5 years more. endurance shengjia. and at where i am now,.im bound to fail everything. yes and im serious. no joke.just look at the pathetic progress report also known as report card and its so disappointing reallly. im getting 0 marks for math? how wonderful is that. well, go ahead laugh at my result.its really okay. say im a slacker and my cert is going to be toilet paper if i dont do well. really. go ahead. really i will take it as a deaf ear. (:

im so not prepare for my mock really.
2 person quitted school already. WOW. my school people are just too rich and quitted school just like that. wow. first her, now him.
good luck joey at UNLV. btw, joey's a guy. not refering to meiyan here.hahha (:

people are just there to help you but not there for you to rely on. so instead of asking/waiting/hoping for others to help you, HELP yourself instead. reliance can be a BAD THING. you grew too reliance on it and once its gone, GAME OVER. you still have to do it for yourself. nothing last forever, except God's love is forever.

and i agreed on the 'watch what you say' you never know how much your words meant to others. a wrong of a word out of your mouth could kill a life. so think twice before letting anything out.

mann, ytd was sucha good good day and today is the totally opposite.well its not that bad, but its worst than a normal day. today= totally wasted.

sleepy+ tired+didnt have a goodnight sleep last night( 5 hours of disturb sleep and the thought of opression suckss, i dont want to think about it tonight)+ no photoshoot+ card error on my olympus camera+ dad angry&unhappy with me+out with dad the whole day and seeing his black face=BAD

im tireddd,yet i need to go out later and see whats i can do about the 'card error' ! its soo irritatingg!  and hopefully i can a night shoot tonight? camera save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

was playing around facebook and i saw this application, calculating all this for me, with the used of my date of birth. pretty cool ya (:
.
I've been living for 18 years
I've been living for 219 months
I've been living for 952 weeks
I've been living for 6,666 days
I've been living for 159,994 hours
I've been living for 9,599,689 minutes
I've been living for 575,981,382 seconds
I've breathed more than 91,250,073 times!
I've blinked my eyes more than 96,725,073 times!
My heart has beaten more than 671,978,230 times!


holiday coming! and yuzhen is leaving and im getting ill tooo ):
current down with flu + cough + sore throat + having a little breathing difficulties?
i dont want to spend my holiday being sickkk! my 1 week holiday SHORT holiday.

anyway here some photos, to share with your, i know you guys must be saying" finally there's pictures' HEHE,





bday surprise for jensen in school during today's 330 break time!

]
jensen bday cake


the act ' dao' face


my always QI GUAI frienddddd :D

sandy bday! with ivan the late king still not there yet! " all girls photo" :p


tingting actual bday! with the pretty that ballon and my theme for her SWEET, aint she sweet that day ONLY. HAHA. with pretty pinkkk!

On this day of your life, Shengjia, we believe God wants you to know ... that decision is only wishful thinking until you take that first irreversible step.
	You can tell yourself that you have already decided, that nothing now can stop you, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times.

courage, confident, me and my frickle mindness, which path shld i choose?

On this day of your life, Shengjia, we believe God wants you to know ... that how bad things may look right now means nothing, - it's how good they can be with God's help that counts.
	In life you can absolutely count on one thing, - everything can turn around in one day, in one minute sometimes. Don't you dare to give up, - you might be a moment away from a windfall.

hmm, i like today one,(: its so true that how good things can be with the help of God. Just when uncertainty strikes im always remind NOT to give up. i like it i love it. Thank GOd for your constant reminder.
This application is soo soo good,always speak right through my heart <3 love love this application

going to have interview tml comittee interview *shiver in my shoe* i dislike interview more its formal interview, kenn plus A guy interviewer ( thats what i heard, and i suspect its gonna be vincent?) if only he can take off his suit and tie when he interviewer me then its wouldnt be so scary , or maybe wear a pink tie and make me laugh :p

rebonding hair on thursday AGAIN (; hope it will be successful this time round. new spect here i come! im thinking of switching back to spect, shld i?

honesty is always appreciated, how honest are you? Lies stirred up troubles for YOURSELF, and make a big mess for yourself.

                                                                         a happy ending ending please?

oh man, my head is so mess up now. messy is the word. externally= messy hair and internally=mental messy. but dont worry, im alright,just got things to plan and decide, which i got a couple on hand to think. just some MINOR issue, but i got quite a few at least to me is quite a bit to think,and i dont want to decide nor plan. zzzz. bahh, i dont even know what im typing now. i might have even confused you, i know. ):
 thats what happen when one have messy head,= cannot think properly.

shengjia is a happy happy gal today (:
its been so long since i felt this happy ,the laughters,the jokes, the stupidness, and everything. ahh, just makes me LAUGHH .... like a kid ( thats what my friends say, but TOO BAD IM YOUNG. hohohoo im eighteeeen). to those who are eighteen and people. hi 5 we're young people, why follow those older and be so mature? bring on that kid and live from you inside out, and be daring to be who you are =D
 

jumping aroung,hopping around, laughing out loud, smiling, pushing, =D 
and oh yes, MR sandy is that crazy mad girl, hohoh, and miss taxi driverman, and my lover ai mei li =D the always breaking up and patching up with me. ai mei li, you think only you can patch and break up with me ahh, you sit far far away from me ahhh, :p and miss taxi driverman,im waiting for you to get your taxi and drive me arond hor. china mannnn


oh yes, to those who have asked about my brother, thanks for your concern much appreciated, my brother is getting better already although he still cant fully lift up his hand, but at least he doesnt have to do operation already. should be.HEHHE :D and im still waiting to see my brother, its been like at least 2-3 weeks since i last saw him. i miss my gor gor. ):